


Clear Intentions

by impulsiveIam



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Mild Language, Resolved Sexual Tension, what now?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-01 08:38:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15139316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impulsiveIam/pseuds/impulsiveIam
Summary: So she’d deal with the goodness of the morning and leave the rest of the day to do what it would.





	1. Chapter 1

You’ve already won me over, in spite of me and don’t be alarmed if I fall, head over feet…………

His mouth quirked slightly as the last strains of Alanis Morrissettes’ Head over Feet echoed softly through his living room. He’d gone home a little earlier than usual that day and after dropping his jacket on his large grey Ethan couch, had turned the radio dial more out of habit than any real desire to listen.

………….and don’t be surprised if I love you, for all that you are, I couldn’t help it, it’s all your fault. 

He grinned sardonically as the song faded out. He wondered if “borrowing” the words for his cause would count as plagiarism. They were fitting for the task at hand and straight to the point in a manner he could never be emotionally.

Sighing heavily he sat down at his desk. It was a nice one. Smooth oak wood with solid ball and claw legs, nothing too ornate, rather simple and functional, “like your life used to be,” his mind snarked. He’d bought it at a neighbours’ yard sale after deciding that living in a motel for the duration of his stay in Purgatory was not ideal. The rest of the furniture he’d bought from Home Evolution and he winced slightly remembering the bill. He liked nice things but he’d really blown the budget especially on his bed. The only other item that had cost almost as much was the portable gun safe he’d stashed in the closet:-firepower was an absolute necessity in his line of work as were the passports and cash stored alongside his guns and a few other items of interest.

He’d found the house through a referral from Nedley who’d decided that despite his numerous layers of asshole, Xavier was someone who could be helped. It would also augur well for the future of Purgatory and its’ citizens to have the taciturn Deputy Marshall on sides. He was sure that the comfortable corner house, with its large airy windows and lovely wrap- around porch would be a sufficient home for the Marshall and a visitor or two no doubt.

It’s been forever since he actually wrote a letter. The process of sitting down and putting his thoughts and feelings to paper feels orderly and less intimidating than actually saying the words out loud and he is determined to avoid any misunderstanding. 

Ever since the night in her bed he’d grown tired of the tip toe, peek-a-boo tango they’d been doing around each other. So, for the sake of progress and his sanity, he’d have to be the one to put out so to speak.

Reaching for the blank paper and nearby pen, he begins his letter with neat, precise strokes.

Wynonna,  
You and your knife made quite the impression the first time I saw you and honestly I had no idea that coming to Purgatory was going to be such a life changing event. Definitely the course of my life has been steered in a direction I never dreamed it would go or thought possible for that matter.

Working with me was not something you were keen on and I know that I’m not all rainbows and unicorns but I do appreciate that you’ve stuck with me, I do. Once I told you that I could never imagine fighting this or any battle with anyone else by my side, well that still stands and my ever deepening regard for you has only strengthened. 

I respect and value your honesty, even if it is at times brutal and crushing. You’ve called me out many a time when I’ve missed the mark and Shorty’s death really brought it home to me then that there is more to living than swallowing the pain and hurt that this job brings. If I came across as callous and unfeeling that was not my intention. Talking about my feelings and emotions is hard to do and having been a Ranger, black ops and then Black Badge, secrecy became the norm such that it seeped into my civilian life and influenced the way I relate to people. I am not what you think I am. Opening up to anyone is new to me but I want to be open with you. Question is do you want to be open with me?

There is so much about you that I hate and more that I love. Purgatory tried to keep you down after failing you miserably when you were young, and life has added further insults to your injuries but still you fight and press on. The size and power of your heart is so evident in the way you fight for those you love and against those you hate. There is nothing easy about you Wynonna and certainly there is nothing easy about me. You’ve seen some of my baggage (freaky, yellow-eyed, fire-breathing dragon wannabe and the related dope dependency to keep it in check) and I have more than enough skeletons from Purgatory to Kandahar to fill both our closets. It is what it is and I cannot change that.  
Maybe everything we’ve both undergone has been to bring us to this point where we can be different things to different people. Waverly sees her badass sister that came for her when no one else could and has reminded her of her own value. Gus and Nedley, well they’ve both come around in double quick time, you did save their lives after all and Nicole is a good/best friend?

I realize that every problem that has encountered you has been tackled head on which thrills me as much as it scares me. Reckless scares me Wynonna and you are the epitome of it but here I am, wanting to be reckless with you and plunge off the precipice of whatever this thing between us is.  
Let it not be said that you’re boring because you are not. You are so complex. One day a rose, thorny, beautiful, vulnerable, petal soft, deeply layered and a sight to behold. (I know you’re rolling eyes so hard right now but this is how I see you.) Then, the storm comes, a torrent of rage, sweeping down and laying waste to all in its path. If you are the hurricane then let me be the centre of your calm, allow me to be the lighthouse to your crashing sea.

Doc and I are complicated. You’re pregnant. That shook me, no lie. It’s Docs’ baby. I don’t care. Nappies, burping, sleepless nights, co-parenting, a lifetime commitment. I’ll take all of that because it’s all of you. Period.

By no means am I perfect. My shortcomings have been apparent and my own undoing but if there’s one thing I have learned in this life is that we make our own choices and our own way. Today, you are my choice and you are my way.

So just to make sure there’s no misunderstanding, here it is again. I want you. I want us. I want what we could be. Do you?

Xavier

He read through the letter. It wasn’t the most elegant thing he’d written but these were his feelings he was trying to articulate here and he could be forgiven for stuttering and waffling his way through it. Tomorrow he would give her the letter and await her reaction. So it would just have to do.


	2. Too Early In The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So she’d deal with the goodness of the morning and leave the rest of the day to do what it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me if there is confusion here. I had posted this earlier but it didn't go the way I planned and I deleted it. Second time around.!!!

Wynonna strode into the office at 9:15 a.m. which for her was a miracle. The preggy vitamins made her feel great or maybe today was just a good morning. She wouldn’t say day because dealing with whichever monster of the week could quickly escalate into a not so good day. So she’d deal with the goodness of the morning and leave the rest of the day to do what it would.

Pushing through the doors of the Sheriffs’ Department, she noticed Nicole was not at her desk but Waverley’s purse was perched there instead. Uugh!! Those two. She bet if she wandered to the back of the station somewhere she’d find them pressed up against each other…... Nope, not going there.

Instead she made her way to the appropriated Black Badge office and announced her presence by flinging the door open and regarding its lone occupant. Oh heaven have mercy please! Today he’d decided on the grey knit shirt. The soft material perfectly hugged the swell of muscle in his arms and chest whilst the V-neckline flashed the silver of his dog tags and a small glimpse of skin, smooth dark skin. Ooh, ooh, ooh, the dark jeans today, the ones’ that enunciate every bulge of his of his corded thighs and legs. And lookee here, he’s doing that thing with his eyes, the one where he looks at her through those ridiculous eyelashes and today with an intensity that quite frankly is disturbing. All she needs now is a little flash of yellow and she’s a goner. Useless hormones going crazy.

“Hi,” he says, deep brown irises fully focused on her and having risen from his desk, walking toward her. She feels that familiar tug watching his body move. Power. It swirls around him like some intoxicating cologne, speaking of which he smells like soap and some sweet, spicy thing she wants to sink her teeth into but can’t name.

“Hey,” she breathes out like some ditsy bimbo. He slides past her to close the door and she hears the latch click shut. Okaaay?? What the hell is going here? Turning she finds him leaning against the door hooded eyes still intent on her with a laser focus that is beginning to stir more than anxiety in her.

Then he smiles, full on toothy-here-comes-the-sun brilliance and she’s floored. He’s standing in front of her now with something in his hand, something she had not seen when he’d walked past her to close the door. 

She looks at the plain white envelope in his large hands, an envelope with her name on it. Her stomach drops.

“So, the thing is I don’t do feelings that well but I’m tired of this weird atmosphere between us since the fire,” he says fiddling with the envelope.

“What? You’re handing me my severance for services rendered? Was the cuddling that bad?” she jokes trying to lighten the lump that has formed in her chest. His eyes blink and his mouth twitches upward.

“I think you better read it first before jumping to conclusions," he says, watching nervously as she snatches the envelope out of his hands, ripping it open impatiently. He hadn’t thought this through. What if…….?? Too late now, it was a done deal, come what may.

There’s a lull in the room whilst Wynonna quickly scans through the first paragraphs realization dawning on her features and …..………….

“Holy shit,” she squawks loudly, her shocked jaw gaping as she stares at him over the letter. This is not what she expected first thing this morning or any other morning in fact. This is why she doesn’t do early mornings because, because, oh god she was going to be sick. With her heart ricocheting against her ribs and overwhelming panic bubbling through her chest like lava, she bolts.

That’s right, she runs as fast as her belly will allow. Out the door after fumbling with the lock, past Nicole and Waverley who are looking suspiciously sex flushed and bewildered at her unceremonious exit and out the police building. Her feet waddle her to her truck and she guns it down the road not knowing exactly where to go only knowing that she had to get away. Later she’d blame it on pregnancy hormones.

He’s finally, finally admitted to this nameless thing between them. After moving with the speed of molten glass over the past months he has at last, admitted his feelings and now, nooooow, wants to give her something she thought she never wanted. In the great Wynonna Earp tradition what does she do? Makes a run for it, high-tailing it out of dodge and she’d called him the pussy? Laughable.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck,” she shrieked hysterically, tears rolling down her cheeks. Bringing the truck to a screeching halt Wynonna gets out gasping for air. The baby had given her good sized kick as if agreeing that now she was the one acting like an ass. How was she going to deal with Xavier? He was offering her something so different from her usual fare with men, something solid, dependable, loving, forgiving? Despite her faults, despite her history, despite what he had seen of her, he still wanted her as she was. Instead of acknowledging the courage it must have taken for him to write that letter, she runs and no doubt leaves a very hurt man in her wake.

Sinking down to the ground on shaky legs, her mind beings a war of attrition with itself. She pulls out the letter and reads the remainder, her heart hammering and breath hitching painfully at each sentence. What the hell is she supposed to do with that? How in the fuck was she supposed to respond to him outside of their obvious sexual attraction? She could deal with sex but he wanted the full Wynonna Earp bouquet thorns and all. 

Oh, who was she kidding? She wants him too. Badly. It’s just that her version of want had been limited to the sexual because that’s as far as her previous relationships had gone and that’s what she knew.  
So many times she’d been told that she was good for nothing but here was the good Deputy Marshall telling her otherwise, reminding her that she had people who loved her and that he was one. 

Oh the possibility of that kind of life, even with the threat of Bulshar, revenants etc lay before her. The possibility of a bespectacled, naked Xavier in her bed, filling her nights and days with passion and her mornings with soft kisses at breakfast stretched before her. She, Wynonna Earp, the veritable fuck-up of the ghost River Triangle was wanted and desired by the most glorious and infuriating man-dragon she had ever met. That peculiar feeling washed through her and left her giddy with excitement. All she had to do was say yes. It was that simple.

But it wasn’t was it? She didn’t deserve what he was offering and there was the small matter of the pissing contest between Doc and Xavier and the fact that she seemed to damage the people who loved her the most not to mention her self-loathing for it but, but he still wants her after the fact. The proof lay before her on crisp paper with neat symmetrical characters that whispered the promise of joy she had never known. Shouldn’t she take a risk on something worthwhile for herself? Step off the island of alienation into the presented safety of his arms and bathe in the radiance of his smile. She could think of ways to make him smile like that more often. 

It’s not like she had anything to lose. Doc was with Rosita and truth be told, it had been all sex, desperate rutting to try and feel a connection with someone. If things didn’t work out with Xavier then she was back to square one again. Lonely was familiar territory but she didn’t want that, not now, not with this juicy strawberry of a future dangling before her. Naturally theirs would not be the most conventional relationship and it certainly would not be boring. Idly she wondered just how much of the freak Xavier brought with him to the bedroom. She couldn’t imagine them……………..……, well actually she could.

Giggling madly to herself, she decided that every fight would be worth the make- up sex that ensued, she’d damn well make sure of it. It would be epic. If it was the full Wynonna he wanted, he’d get it even if she wasn’t too sure herself what that was. He wants to be hers does he? Well she’ll make him hers and she’ll be his in every conceivable way.

First though, she had to haul her pregnant ass back to the station and apologize for being so dramatic. She’d been overwhelmed and couldn’t think straight. That was her story and she was sticking to it. Damn hormones. Then, then, if she hasn’t broken him, they could begin in earnest and that meant no work would be done today and maybe into the next day or week. She’d see just how much she could get away with now.

Her internal war quelled Wynonna rubs the tears off her face, gets back into her truck and returns to Purgatory. She hadn’t realized that her cogitation had taken so much time that when she pulls into the parking lot, his black truck is not there.

Heaving out the truck, her stomach crunches uneasily and before she can even take three steps forward, Waverly comes billowing out the station doors fury in every rapid step.

“What did you do Wynonna?” she hisses finger pointing menacingly at her face.

“Nothing, Waves, what’s going on and where’s Xavier?” 

“He went home. Took a personal day, Wynonna!! He doesn’t do that, not ever. So, again I ask, what did you do Wynonna?” 

This time the smaller woman was right up in her face glaring at her and Wynonna wanted to laugh at the spectacle but Waverley was crazy pissed and on her shit list is not where she wanted to be right now.

Waverly had taken a shine to Xavier from the start and that affection had only grown with time as he had made a conscious decision to leave the business of researching revenants to her greater local knowledge. She was excellent at what she did and he’d tried to show his appreciation as best he could. He’d also known about her orientation and relationship with Nicole before Wynonna and she was forever grateful that he’d kept it to himself without judgment, simply smiling knowingly when he saw them slip away together.

“Ummm I kind of freaked out,” she tried.

“Why?” The inquisition was not ending anytime soon.

“Look Waves, this is not something I can discuss with you right now but I promise as soon as I’ve spoken to Xavier I’ll fill you in, okay? We’ll even do popcorn and shit, make a night of it. Please just let me go and deal with this and then we can talk, please?”

Hazel eyes narrowed, Waverley regarded her older sister contemplatively. It wasn’t often that Wynonna said please twice in the same sentence and with a surprising degree of sincerity at that. Whatever had gone down in that office had been major enough to upset the normally unflappable Dolls and send him into a tizz. He’d barely spoken to Waverley or Nicole, brushing past brusquely, muttering about needing a day off. And when did Wynonna start calling him Xavier? It was always Dolls! Something was afoot.

“Fine, but when you get back, we are going to talk Wynonna.” Turning on her heel Waverley strode back toward the station but then paused and turned back to Wynonna who had returned to her truck.

“By the way, he’s not at the motel anymore. Nedley got him the Jameson house, so I guess you’ll find him there.” She marched back into the station satisfied. This was going to be good.


	3. It Hurts But I'm Not Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d gone home, crushed.

He’d gone home, crushed. He’d gone to ground in the safety of his new home like a wounded animal seeks a dark burrow to hide in and lick its wounds.

He’d crashed onto his bed not bothering with his boots, who was he trying to impress anyway? The pain he’d suppressed at the station trickling through his eyes and down the sides of his face. Sadness filled his whole being to overflowing. This is why he did not do emotions they hurt him too damn much, worse than any physical pain.

Her stunned face swam in his tears as he recalled the moment she had fled without so much as a backward glance at him. Had he misread her cues? No, he didn’t think so. Maybe she was still pining after Doc? He was the father of her child after all. Or maybe she just didn’t want him, didn’t want to deal with his issues. Who could blame her, she had her own after all. 

Xavier had stumbled out of the BBD offices, barely coherent and civil to a wide-eyed Nicole and Waverly. His heart felt like it was going to burst with pain and he wanted to get out before anyone witnessed his meltdown. Already he could feel his other scrabbling away at his insides, clearly agitated, just the last thing he needed today.

It had been an effort not to slam his fists into the steering and howl, long and hard. Control. He’d lost it ever since he’s come to this place and met her and what a price he would pay. Calming himself as best he could, he reversed out and drove towards his house but slammed hard on the brakes. Where had she gone to?

“No, no, no Xavier,” his mind gloated, “if she wanted you with her, that’s where you’d be right now. Instead you’re going home alone to tend your wounded heart and damaged pride.”

Gritting his teeth he had forced himself to drive home despite the quiet protestations and insistence of his heart that he look for Wynonna. He’d surged through his front door and headed straight for the master bedroom.

Now as he lay on his bed he wondered what he’d do. He couldn’t leave, even with Black Badge gone, his honor would not allow him to walk away from the job until it was complete.

“Honor be damned for once! Leave them, leave her and be done with it. Remember you loved order and control, you could have it again, if you just walk away” his mind railed in rebellion. 

Should he stay? Should he go? He thought about the contents of his safe, the contingency plans he’d made way back then in case of emergency. Did heartbreak qualify as an emergency? Groaning he rolled face down into his pillows breathing hard trying to stifle the anguish that pillaged his poor little heart. Deputy Marshall Xavier Dolls laid low by a blue-eyed crazy woman that he absolutely adored. Wouldn’t that be a fitting epitaph on his tombstone.

Deciding that there was nothing more to lose, he let go completely and began to cry. Really cry. There was no one to see or hear, so what the hell. It had all gone to shit anyway. Everything that he felt, he let loose. All the collective pain and sorrow he’d refused to feel, all the loss, the turmoil of the past years, the bitterness of his life spilled out in great racking sobs that shook his unyielding frame. 

This time he did not swallow the tears or the wail of pain. He let them flow freely, feeling every stab of remorse, agony, fear. The solitude of his bedroom bore witness to his tearful confession. Perhaps living with unrequited love and being tortured by her being so near and yet so out of reach would be his penance for his past sins in the days to come. He would not leave, neither would he surrender but right now he just needed to be human, lay on his expensive bed weep and generally feel sorry for himself.

Finally, the flood abated and he felt emptied out, lighter. The sting of rejection was still raw but something inside him had broken, almost as though the lid of some deep hidden thing had been shattered, the contents set free and he could breathe easier. It was as if the tears had somehow washed and cleansed him and for the first time he was whole.

Rolling upright, he unlaced his boots, stepped out of them doing an ungainly dance as he yanked off his socks. His jeans and boxers followed suit with his shirt the last to go. Naked, he stalked across to the room to the en-suite shower and turned the knobs. He’d eat after his shower, get a good night’s sleep and deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. He was not done yet.


	4. Actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actions speak louder than words. Whatever she wanted to say could wait for the morning. Hell Bulshar and the fucking revenants could kick rocks for all he cared. Right now, this mattered, nothing else. Tomorrow would see for itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe I wrote this but here it is.

As she drove down the tree lined street toward the Jameson house, Wynonna wondered what kind of neighborhood Xavier had grown up in. He was a big city guy but she had an inkling that his was a tight knit, loving, postcard family, unlike hers. 

It also occurred to her that he also hadn’t volunteered any personal information about himself, until he’d volunteered his whole fricking heart on a platter to her. Talk about grand gestures.

Sighing, she knew there would be a lot to make up for and she was happy to put in the work but right now she was unsure of her reception. Wynonna had sobered up from her high realizing that she needed to at least have an outline of what she wanted to say to him. Impulsive would not work for her today. She had to think things through and be on the absolute level with him. Tactical focus he called it. 

The house came into view and she couldn’t help but smirk. It was large and stood off on the corner almost to the side as if it was watching the other houses on the street. Typical Dolls. Good, his truck was parked outside. At least he was home. Sliding out, she climbed the short steps onto the porch only to find the door partially open. Frowning, she slipped through the door drawing Peacemaker just in case.

Unfortunately, the door closed behind her with a loud squeak and she jumped, knocking into the desk by the window. Well, so much for stealth. Creeping forward through the living room she barely had time to register his sense of décor before she found herself slammed to the wall and facing a pair of very, very yellow eyes and a deadly Glock. Her stomach flopped.

She saw the surprise on his face and he immediately dropped the gun from her face, simultaneously releasing his grip on her arm.

“Wynonna, what are you doing here?” he asked quietly, eyes fading to their normal deep brown. 

For the life of her she couldn’t answer. He was standing before her dripping wet. Little droplets of water shining like diamonds in his hair and there was that smell again. What was it? It seemed to rise from his very skin and sink into her mind like a brand. She watched a bead of water glide its way down his chest to his taut stomach only to be consumed by some very thirsty fabric at his waist. 

He had heard the squeak of the door but never thought his unexpected visitor would be her. Elation coursed through him as he watched her curiously, head tilted, his face neutral. He didn’t want to get his hopes up so he’d wait and hear what she had to say or maybe not.

Wynonna snapped out of her reverie and brought her eyes up to meet his. Smiling slyly, she whispered in honeyed tones, “I seem to have interrupted your shower. Maybe you could finish up and we could talk?”

Xavier stepped closer, caging her against the wall, lips brushing her ear and he whispered in equally dulcet tones, “Or maybe you could help me finish up?”

Dropping the towel, he looked pointedly at her clothes, licked his bottom lip and walked away dropping the Glock onto the couch. “Lock the door. I’m not expecting any other visitors today,” he said over his shoulder.

“Yes sir, Mr Deputy Marshall sir,” she grinned wickedly in response. 

Turning the lock and hurriedly chucking her jacket and top she padded after him admiring the view of his broad back, tapered narrow waist and bunched muscle, flexing under silky mocha colored skin as he walked. He had great buns and hot damn he hadn’t been kidding about his not-so-little-rebel. She giggled at the memory as they entered his bedroom that was infused with plumes of steam escaping from the still running shower.

She suddenly felt shy. Wynonna wasn’t a prude, not at all but this was different and she had this baby stomach thing going and this was not how she had planned being with him. As though reading her mind he took her hand, eased her over to the bed and sat her down. 

Kneeling at her feet he looked up for her assent and she silently nodded her head, eyes focused on the rippling movement of muscle in his back. He unzipped her boots, tossing them aside, pulled the socks off her feet, sturdy hands briefly caressing her arches, making her toes curl. Hauling her up to her feet, he unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs and she used his shoulders to balance whilst lifting one foot and then another to add the denim to the puddle of clothing already on the floor. 

The feel of his skin under her fingers was electric and she couldn’t help but flatten her palms on either side of his head, digging her fingers gently into his scalp and scratching.

He was smiling when he looked up at her oh god it was that smile again and she beamed back at him. That smell, peculiar to him was intensifying with every second and her head was spinning from her own response to it. He slipped off her bra his hands trailing down her back to hook his fingers into her panties and they too joined the puddle.

At last they were naked and all she wanted to do was press herself against his body and feel the heat of him. But no, he had other ideas. Picking her up, he carried her into the steaming shower and letting her down she turned to face him, sliding her arms around his neck.

 

“I ran away,” the words surprising the both of them with their honesty.

“You did,” he replied calmly, his hands now busy rubbing soap down her back and sliding to tenderly massage her bottom. She sighed softly her head dropping back. 

He was so tempted to kiss her throat just to allow him a small taste of her skin but he decided to wait. Working up a good lather he worked his hands gently at her shoulders moving to the underside of her arms. She brought her head up to watch his progress seemingly mesmerized by the dexterous fingers working their way over her body. His hands swept down her sides and he crouched down to soap her lithe legs and work his way back up fastidiously avoiding the thatch of hair at the apex of her thighs. He moved her lightly into the spray watching the soap slide off the glistening planes of her rounded body.

“Turn around,’ he rumbled into her ear. She had no idea what Xavier had planned and she really did want to talk but this was delicious, he was just too delicious, so she decided to relax and just go with the flow. He pulled her against him and she felt his erection pressing into her spine. She reached back to touch him only to have her hand batted away. 

Behind her Xavier grinned like an idiot. He couldn’t have planned this better even if he tried. Dropping the towel had been spontaneous on his part and he had been gratified at her stupefied expression. It was taking all his willpower not to rush through this but he really wanted Wynonna to relax and get used to him in every way.

Lathering his hands again he wondered what had brought her back. No doubt he’d hear all about it but not now. Right now he was too busy enjoying the very intimate feel of her body under his hands. She had leaned further back into him murmuring softly, her head turned into his neck, whilst he cradled and stroked her baby bump in circular movements, his hands eventually making their way under her breasts. Wynonna quivered when he cupped them, her ass grinding suggestively against him, breath catching when he massaged the areolas and pinched her nipples.

She pouted in frustration when he pushed her back into the spray to rinse off and then pulled her back to him again. He’d lathered his hands again. 

“Last time,” he chuckled throatily. This time he ducked down in front of her and soaped up the thatch of hair he’d studiously ignored. He kneaded her mound, deliberately pressing into the middle of it, thick fingers languidly working in and out of her labia, all the while meticulously ignoring her strangled moans. He reached up and pulled down the shower-head, washing the soap from the tuft of hair and focusing the blast of water on the nub exposed by her now swollen lips.

“Hold still or you’ll fall,” he smirked up at her dazed face. Satisfied that he’d removed the soapy residue, he turned off the tap and leading her by the hand out the shower, he snagged a towel and stopped briefly to wrap it around her.

Wynonna was so done. She’d had quite enough by now and she threw the towel off, pitching forward into his mouth. It was a hungry kiss one that told of deprivation, longing, starvation and right now both of them were only interested in clinging to and feasting on each other. They broke apart breathless and came back again moving toward and toppling onto the bed.

“I could just eat you up, like totally devour you,” she laughed, running her hands over his arms as his bulk loomed over her. 

“Or I could beat you to it,” he smiled sinfully, fingers already trailing south around her belly. 

Her breath caught and held as he slithered down and settled between her spread legs. Her view of him was obscured by the swell housing her unborn child. She shuddered on an exhale when she felt the press of his lips on the inside of her thigh, the scrape of his stubble against the heated flesh sending tingles further and deeper into her already weeping core. 

A broad finger dipped into her sodden heat, exploring briefly and withdrawing, only to be replaced by his tongue. He licked her once from entrance to nub and she whined loudly. He did it again, this time licking down and back up again, setting a rhythm that quickly had her spiraling.

As though sensing her impending orgasm, his talented tongue slowed to flick at the little nub stiffened by sensation. He teased, swirling around it, grazing it with his teeth, humming into it, the vibrations reverberating throughout Wynonna’s body

She couldn’t breathe. It was too much, he was too much, her fingers flexed, frantically trying to find purchase on the coverlet, she was going to suffocate him with her thighs, but she didn’t want him to stop but she was arching off the bed, trying to get away from his marauding tongue but his hands were manacles on her ankles and oh dear god this was going to be her end. All reason and thought was drowned in her quaking, crashing climax. 

He released her ankles and her legs flopped boneless to the bed, her trembling breaths the only sound in the room. He was watching her watching him, his finger tracing her collarbone.

All she could do was look at him, at his deep brown eyes, the extravagant eyelashes, his nose and that mouth that had all but ruined her. Talk would only wreck this moment and there was still the not so small matter of his rebel crying for attention.

Pushing closer to him, she rolled him onto his back and he went without complaint, eyes fixed hungrily on her. Hoisting herself up and over, she straddled his lap running a finger up his fully engorged length to the tip that offered up a solitary tear. He was too far gone to be teased further and she raised herself up and slid down his heated shaft. They both cried out, Xavier jerking to thrust into her, Wynonna pushing him down, clenched tight around him. He growled, the thrill of it spurring her rocking movements as she flexed her back and thighs, bracing her hands on his chest, breathing heavily. 

He’d filled her to the hilt and she sat up and held on to the headboard grinding down on him, contracting every muscle in her seeping core to bring him pleasure. He watched her flushed face, his slowly dissolving mind memorizing every line, every expression in her blue eyes. He just wanted to watch her ride him, wanted to prolong and savor the feeling of being buried in her depths, to watch her unravel because of him. Wynonna returned his intense gaze, biting her lip and leaning down momentarily to give him an open mouthed kiss. He pushed up on his elbows into the kiss and maneuvered his way upright against the headboard.

His hands locked onto her hips and he moved with her thrusting upwards, faster, momentum building, his eyes boring into hers and she unable to look away from his face, their voices now an unintelligible melody of need. Wynonna broke first, head thrown back, shrieking her fulfillment across the bedroom and he followed on a rumble, his release convulsing his body in spasms, eyes shimmering for a moment. They held onto each other, gasping, sweat trickling down their backs.

She found his mouth kissing him deeply, tasting herself on his lips and he groaned as she slipped off him. Mimicking the night of the fire, he tucked in behind her, his hand twined with hers.

Actions speak louder than words. Whatever she wanted to say could wait for the morning. Hell, Bulshar and the fucking revenants could kick rocks for all he cared. Right now, this mattered, nothing else. Tomorrow would see for itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own these characters. I just love them.


	5. Pillow Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn’t just a job anymore, nope, he had too much of a vested interest. It was now personal.

He woke up to a faint but insistent thumping sensation against his stomach. Wynonna was pressed in against his neck, moaning softly, her hand sliding to her belly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked concern pushing the sleep from his face.

“I swear I’m incubating a satyr,” she said grimacing.

He laughed heartily kissing the top of her head, running his warm, soothing hand running over her middle as she snuggled against him. Oh, she could get used to this business of waking up entwined in the sheets of a naked, gorgeous man who was in no hurry to see the back end of her.

“Hey baby,” he whispered staring at her in the faint morning light that was peeking through the curtains. Heaven help him she was beautiful, sleep encrusted eyes, bird nest hair and all. Just beautiful. Wynonna blushed prettily, unused to appreciative endearments in the morning after. 

Stretching luxuriantly, she inched even closer to him, settling her head proprietorially on his chest. The rhythm of his heart beat was loud, steady and assured against her ear. Flicking his nipple idly, she wondered why it had taken them so long to get to this point.

“I don’t know,” he said.

She looked at him in askance. 

“You spoke out loud,” he said, his fingers lazily caressing her back sending needles of desire pricking into her spine. 

“I didn’t mean to run away, “she stated quietly. Ah hell, she’d just dive straight into it then because she really had to say her piece and it couldn’t wait any more.

“Nobody has ever made me feel what you make me feel Xavier and I couldn’t deal. I’ve always just been big, bad Wynonna and I guess you’re the first to see me differently, make me think differently about myself. I want you too, I want to try with you but I just don’t know how we’re gonna make this work.”

There. She’d articulated the best she could. Maybe with time and a little more practice she’d do better with her words. She wanted to do better.

She heard him exhale and looking up saw his open, smiling and oddly relieved face. Understanding dawned on her. He’d been waiting on her to verbally validate them, to confirm last night hadn’t just been resolution of sexual tension but a move to something concrete. He’d laid it on the line in that letter and really there was nothing more he could say. The decision had been hers to make.

“One day at a time. It’s not all on you, I’m in this too,” he reminded her gently, voice a little deeper and throatier than normal. 

It was amazing what could happen in a day. He had lain on this same bed bawling his eyes out in anguish just the day before. Today his heart was full to exploding because the most intriguing woman, possibly the love of his life had declared her love for him as best she could.

Realistically, it wasn’t going to be easy. They both had secrets that the other knew nothing about but now he was more than a foot in the door and he’d take every square inch she gave up. They’d have to fight, sometimes each other but for a shot at something so real, a stand and deliver kind of love that was too rare, it would be worth it.

Xavier also realized that he was prepared to deploy every weapon in his arsenal to destroy every and anything that stood in the way of their shared happiness and right now that took the form of the curse, Bulshar and Revenants. 

This wasn’t just a job anymore, nope, he had too much of a vested interest. It was now personal. Pulling his focus back to the now wriggling woman in his arms he gave her a winsome smile.

“Eggs, bacon, pancakes with syrup?” he asked with lifted eyebrow. Her answering smile was magnetic.

No siree. No-one was going to stand in the way of that smile not now, not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own these characters. I Just love them.


	6. The Winds Are Blowing Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her reckoning had come and it would cost her dearly.

Weeks later, face pale, eyes still sparking in anger, Wynonna clung to him tightly. His Glock nosed ahead of them as he carefully pushed the swing door of Shorty’s open. The street was clear, the whirring of rotor blades, the only sound. She looked up watching the helicopter roar past, carrying her new born daughter to safety, far away from the evil infesting Purgatory. Blinking back the tears, she tightened her grip on the solid arm beside her.

His other was coiled, smug and watchful, waiting to be released again. If his person would just accept that they were two parts to a whole then their continued existence would be far simpler for the both of them. Xavier had gone to collect the doctor after Wynonna had gone into labour only to encounter a roadblock made up of the Order. 

Ewan Allenbach, arrogant, self-righteous jerk that he was, had mouthed off about proper values and how Wynonna was an unfit mother and that she would only corrupt the child the way she had corrupted him. The Order was intent on kidnapping and raising the child in their image and after their likeness.

He hadn’t expected this not after the Widows defeat and it pissed him off to no end. Reasoning had failed and recognizing the inevitable seething within Xavier, it had readied itself for battle. With one purpose and one mind and unable to stomach anymore of Ewan’s drivel, the Order had unapologetically been rendered to ash by a rush of sweltering flames.

Nodding grimly at Wynonna when he walked into the bar he steadied himself beside her for another unholy standoff. She’d stood alone in blood soaked jeans, face cold and fierce, lips a flat, hard line, Peacemaker raised as she defended her daughter and town with the ancient gun. Revenants had crashed through the doors of Shortys’ baying for her daughters’ blood and once realizing their doom had tried to escape the carnage being rained down on them.

The Heir resolutely fired bullet after bullet, the flames of hell greedily engulfing the revenants caught in the path of the deadly missiles, their merciless executioner pausing only long enough to reload and resume the slaughter. 

The Glock chimed in, doing a fine work of slowing down the demons whilst Peacemaker finished them off. The strange rapid fire symphony was accompanied by the screeching of vanquished revenants swallowed whole by the ravenous earth. The last remaining revenants fled, shocked at the yellow eyed horror whose vindictive breath scorched and scarred their bodies. Silence, the smell of sulphur, brimstone and charred, smoking wood the only remaining witnesses to the massacre.

Arriving at the sanctuary of the Homestead, Xavier had carried Wynonna into the house and up to her bedroom, laying her carefully on the bed. He’d skidded Docs’ car into the Earp driveway, anxious to have her safe and away from further calamity. She hadn’t uttered a word keeping her eyes trained on him the whole way back as if committing his every feature to memory.

Waverley had taken one look at Wynonna and taken over, stripping her out of the infernal leather jacket, boots and stained jeans, her lips clamped tightly together to stop from crying at the sight of her white-faced, weak, hurting sister. She would not allow herself to be overwhelmed by the days’ proceedings, the burn of Rosita's betrayal. Right now Wynonna needed her and she had to push aside her own pain and comfort her sister. It hadn’t been easy letting go of her tiny, beautiful niece, the elation of not burning at the boundary, dimmed by the agony of having to release Alice. 

Nicole had held the both of them whilst they waited for Doc to see Alice and the haunted look in his eyes at the sight of his snuffling, perfect daughter had been enough to turn her sobbing into Nicoles’ arms. The drive back to the Homestead had been silent with Nicole simply holding her hand, the only interruption of the quiet being the crackle of the radio.

Alice had affected everyone and coming down the steps she considered Dolls as he hunched over the dinner table, deep in thought. His fisted hands betraying his inner turmoil and Waverley wondered when he’d lowered his guard so much that she could actually read his body language now. She knew something had happened with him and Wynonna and that that something had kept on happening in the past weeks. It hurt a little that Wynonna wanted to keep secrets from her but she could not begrudge her a little joy, not when she’d suffered so much. 

She’d watched them in the office, watched how they always seem drawn to each other like magnets, watched how Dolls favored Wynonna with soft, secretive smiles and watched how Wynonna spent more and more time away from the Homestead, coming home late or not at all and always with a sparkle in her eye. Once she’d seen them in the small office kitchen, his arms wrapped around her tenderly, chin resting on Wynonnas’ head and she’d crept past not wanting to disturb their moment. Popcorn night had been a bust, interrupted before it had even begun by the newest freak of the week and there just didn’t seem to be a right time after that for the two sisters to re-connect.

He turned his head as Waverley made her way toward him looking at him kindly, seeing the worry and tiredness in his eyes for the first time. Taking his much larger hand in hers, she gazed at him and smiled.

“Nicole is arranging a nurse to come and see her, so she doesn’t need to leave the Homestead. Nedley will bring her. I’ve given her some painkillers and she wants to see you.” Xavier just stared at Waverley before standing and enfolding her in a hug unable to properly express his feelings.

“Thanks,” was all he said as he made his way up the stairs to Wynonna. The curtains in the messy room had been drawn and she was hunkered down under an enormous, heavy blanket, stirring at the sound of his footsteps.

Xavier sat at the edge of the bed lost for words, fixated on her brimming eyes his heart twisting at her pain. What do you say to a woman that has had to send her child away to safety moments after giving birth; has faced down the most devilish fiends because of a curse foisted upon her from eons back and still comes out standing?

What do you tell a woman whose heart is so broken but is determined in her protection of a town that hates her. How do you console her when noiseless tears roll down her cheeks?

He held her close whilst she sobbed, for Alice, for Doc, for Willa, for Waverley and for herself. Wynonna wept thinking of the secret she carried that would no doubt destroy the good she had built in Purgatory. The deadly secret of a woman who had warned her of what was to come but had left behind three desperate girls to fend for themselves.

She cried for the oblivious man in whose strong arms she had found an anchor and more, wept thinking of his pain when her betrayal became known. She would lose him like every other good thing in her life. So much for being open, so much for trying, even now as she unraveled she could not relinquish her poisonous burden as she clung to the surety of him maybe for the last time. He rocked her, humming in his deep voice, trying to calm the raging storm within her

Her reckoning had come and it would cost her dearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own these characters. I just love them.


	7. Circling the Wagons - Part A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would be five days before she could come downstairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I was done, apparently not.

It would be five days before she could come downstairs. Exhaustion had overtaken her tears and Xavier had left her to sleep through the remainder of that awful day to the next morning.Waverley would only wake Wynonna to make sure she showered and ate, replacing her soiled bedding with clean sheets.

Xavier and Doc moved into the Homestead and by unspoken agreement, Doc occupied the barn and Xavier the living room sofa. Nicole and Waverley slept with guns on at their bedsides holding tightly to each other. Even Nedley after bringing the nurse had swung by the Homestead in the course of the week on the pretext of bringing Wynonna some surprisingly tasty chicken soup.

“I made it for my wife when we had Chrissy,” was all he said gruffly by way of explanation.

“Thank you Nedley, I’ll be sure to let her know you came by,” Waverley whispered as her eyes pricked with tears.

“Waverley before you go, could you ask the Marshall and Nicole to step outside. I’d like a word please.”

“Sure thing and once again thank you,” Waverley smiled warmly at him.

He huffed something out staring at the ground somewhat embarrassed. He’d thought about what must have happened at the bar. He’d seen the unsavoury crowd from the trailer park whooping and hollering gleefully as they entered Shorty’s. He’d seen the Deputy Marshall use the side door to gain entrance, had heard the burst of gunfire, the unholy screaming and had made a split decision to evacuate everyone from the vicinity, ushering them to safety. No sane person needed to see the hell being unleashed in there, this so soon after the showdown on main street with the Widows in black.

When all had fallen silent he’d watched as Dolls had emerged from the bar, gun in hand with Wynonna hanging onto him, her movements slow and laboured, jeans soaked in blood. Abject horror etched itself on his face as he realized she wasn’t pregnant anymore and between the two of them there was no sign of a baby. 

Catching a glimpse of her face as she watched a helicopter roar by, he saw shadows, despair and palpable pain, like a mask covering her face. It was like the shooting all those years ago. Pain written on the face of a little girl who realized that no one believed that her sister had been taken by demons, intense pain as her even younger sibling had screamed and screamed until she fainted over the accidental death of a father who cared little to nothing for her. More pain years later as Wynonna is led away from Waverly in handcuffs to begin her stint in juvie. It made him sick to think of what could have happened for pain to use her face like a canvas yet again.

He’d brought the nurse to the Homestead and it had been a relief when Nicole had told him that Wynonna had given birth and that the baby was safe. He’d left it at that. Details were unnecessary.

Pangs of guilt clawed his chest. He hadn’t done a stellar job with the Earps in the past. Maybe if he had intervened, maybe if he’d taken Ward round the back of the precinct and given him more than just a talking too, maybe the Earp girls would have had better lives. 

Nedley wasn’t thick. He knew that Purgatory was a strange town and if he’d thought he could continue to ignore the occasional mermaid poltergeist, his encounter with the Widow had most certainly disabused him of that notion.

He found it ironic that rescue had come from one Wynonna Earp. 

“Give me my Nedley,” she had screamed at the Widow. It was flattering in a weird way that she thought she had sole rights to making his life miserable. Her physical fury at the infringement of those rights was a sight to behold, her fists violently colliding with the rotting flesh on the face of once-was-Mercedes. Wynonna Earp even as a grown woman couldn’t keep her fluffy hindquarters out of trouble and a fight. He was grateful.

Sighing heavily as he watched Dolls and Nicole walk toward him, he thought of spilt milk. The past was a vapour, gone, whist the present was a shit-show of its own waiting to be dealt with. 

“Sheriff,” Dolls was the first to speak.

Nedley looked him over. He knew the look of a determined and angry man and there was none more wrathful or resolute as the one who stood before him. Jaw thrust forward, eyes watchful, restrained violence betrayed by tense shoulders and folded arms.

His deputy flanked Dolls, her eyes focused on him with a steely glint with hand on side arm. This motley crew had been through the wringer and were probably going to go through a lot more too and he’d be damned if he’d let them carry the load on their own.

“I want you to listen and not say anything till I’m done, right?” Both nodded in agreement.

“I been around for a while. I know some things ‘bout this place and I’ve seen some things. I know Wynonna is slap bang in the middle of it and we all know she’s the only reason some of us are still breathing. Now, I don’t know all of it and I don’t need to, my job is to protect the citizens of this town. That being said, if ever you need an extra set of hands, mine are available.”

He looked the two sentinels in the eye before turning on his heel and stomping back to his cruiser. There, he’d said his piece, wasn’t going to force it, they would decide to take him up on his offer or not. Either way he’d know.

She’d come down the steps tentatively because the house was so quiet and she didn’t want to wake anyone napping. Wynonna knew everybody had moved onto the property except Jeremy who ostensibly was kept busy running two labs, the one in the office and the covert operation in the basement of the bar.

Rosita was never brought up again. Anger had turned Docs’ face puce at the revelation of her betrayal. 

“I offered her protection and that’s what she does? Hell will freeze over before I ever forgive her, never,” he thundered. 

In hindsight he realized that he’d been naïve to think that protection would have been enough for a woman of her many talents. Waitressing at Shorty’s, occasionally applying her acumen for Dolls, waiting on him to get over Wynonna when she could be free of the prison that was the Ghost River Triangle. Be free to see the world and fully live a life that had been cut short by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yip he’d really been blind and naive. 

Wynonna stepped forward into the shards of wintry sunshine playing on the hardwood floor. Her socked feet slid noiselessly forward and she looked at the sprawled form of Dolls on the sofa. His glasses were askew on his face, mouth slightly parted. Her heart contracted and she flicked the tear that had formed at the corner of her eye. This would be so hard but she had decided that it was time to lay all her cards on the table, whatever the fallout.

He was awake before she’d even managed to lay her hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” surprised eyes looked at her and his smile was wide on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“My lady parts are still in shock and that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter,” she deadpanned. “Listen, can you call everyone together, like now. I got something to say and it can’t wait.”

“Wynonna what’s going?” he asked, now upright and concerned.

Leaning forward she kissed him lightly, “please Xavier, just call them.”

She watched him move towards the door and exhaled heavily. She couldn’t lose her nerve not now. Besides the bad feeling that things were about to get way worse than they were right now had intensified and she really needed to get stuff off her chest once and for all.

 

Her chosen people trooped in, all of them watching her carefully, wondering what had finally got her out her room. Nicole, Waverley, Doc, Dolls and even Jeremy. She’d have to remember to do something nice for Nedley. His soup was about the only thing she could keep down in the past few days.

A red fur-ball minced its way into the living room meowing and swishing its tail majestically. 

“There was no one to feed her at home,” Nicole smiled as she answered Wynonna’s raised eyebrow.

Ignoring the cat she focused on the faces in front of her twisting her fingers together, trying to keep her composure.

Dolls had taken one of the kitchen chairs and brought it over to her but she chose to stand behind it instead, bracing her hands on it as a support.

“Here’s, the thing guys. I fucked up.” That got their attention. 

“I’ve known about Bulshat and his stupid cult for a long time now. Mama used to tell me stories about him when we were young and how he would one day come back.”

Silence greeted her bombshell, so she plunged on.

“I didn’t believe her, didn’t believe that such a thing could exist but then Mama left, Willa got taken and I shot Daddy and everything just spiraled from there. When I last spoke to mama all she could tell me was I told you so.”

“Wait, what, you spoke to mama? You know where she is and you didn’t think to tell me, your sister, the one who actually gives a damn about you?” Waverley’s voice had been rising steadily and she stood up visibly angry, her small hands clenched in fists at her side.

Wynonna hung her head weakly unable to meet her sisters’ eyes. Xavier and Nicole shot each other looks, remembering the shared secret between them. This was going to be a doozy.

“Waves, I wanted to tell you but, but.” Wynonna lifted her hands helplessly.

“But what Wynonna? You wanted to protect me? Wake up will you! When you left I learned how to protect me, I had to. You were all the way in Greece, not the least bit worried about me. I’ve always played second fiddle where you’re concerned Wynonna, if it wasn’t Willa, it was some boy and the next thing after. Wynonna Earp, whiskey soaked and reckless whilst I lived in your giant shadow and paid for your mistakes. I’m not a child anymore and you don’t get to treat me like one. I made my own life, small and insignificant to you as it may be but it’s mine and yeah you’re right, you fucked up, as always!”

The silence was deafening seemingly stretching on forever. No one dared to move as both sisters stared each other down, tears freely running down their faces.

It was Nicole who broke the silence. Gingerly kissing the top of Waverley’s stooped head she moved toward Wynonna, Xavier watching her intently.

“You’re not the only one with secrets,” her voice quiet and clear. Every eye was now trained on her, waiting in suspense for the next big revelation.

“I ran away from the cult of Bulshar when I was really young. They murdered my family and I was the only one to survive. The reason I became a police officer was to protect people from evil like that and that’s part of the reason I pushed so hard to get into BBD.”

“What was the other reason?” Waverley asked, voice croaking.

“I wanted to investigate the cult and bring them down but I couldn’t do that as a deputy sheriff because I didn’t have access. Dolls gave me a file and also the ring we took from Bulshars’ widows and I’ve been trying to research further.”

Waverley looked at her sadly. “Well, isn’t everybody good at hiding things. So that’s why you were so cold after we rescued Dolls because you missed your chance to get into BBD and pursue your hidden agenda. You never thought that you should share this information with the rest of the team, especially me who is the lead researcher? I could have helped but I guess no one wants that from me.” 

“Waverley….”

“No Dolls. I get why YOU would keep secrets, it’s your job, it’s what you do but my sister and my lover are entirely different, so don’t, just don’t.”

Silence again. Jeremy looked round the room boggle eyed. He’d come by to see Dolls and had walked right into the middle of prime time Earp drama. He kept his mouth firmly shut as he knew he could not say anything that would diffuse the suffocating tension in the room.

“Perhaps if Waverley would step outside with me and take some air,” Doc suggested looking across to her and seeing the hurt roiling in her eyes. He would have gone to Wynonna but Dolls already had a hand on her shoulder and was murmuring something softly to her. He turned quickly ushering the smaller girl out to the porch.

Meanwhile both Xavier had taken Wynonna upstairs. The short explosive confession had triggered a chain reaction and truthfully, Xavier was not the least bit surprised. Waverley’s repressed anger and hurt finally coming to the fore. She didn’t realize that it was okay to be mad at Wynonna and that the world wouldn’t end if she truly expressed her feelings instead of hiding under a façade.

This whole team needed to be honest with each other if they were to be fully cohesive, even if it mean airing dirty laundry and then some. Sighing, he realized he and Doc needed to have a chat of their own.

“Are you mad at me,” she asked softly.

“No.”

“Why?” She looked at him surprised. “Oh, you knew,” she breathed eyes going wide.

“Mmmm, not quite. I suspected you knew where your mom was but I didn’t know you’d seen her. Look, with everything that was happening, I just didn’t want to risk us by pushing you to tell me stuff when you were not ready. I kinda like being with you Earp, sue me”

“So you’re not gonna break up with me then,” she asked unsure.

He smiled at her, that full radiant and blinding smile and pulled her into his arms.

“This is a relationship Wynonna you don’t just break up will-nilly, you work stuff out, even if it takes time.”

She sighed into his chest inhaling the comforting scent rolling off of him. Would Waverley be prepared to work through this latest Wynonna fiasco. Would she allow a second chance? Wynonna prayed that Waverley would come around because she doubted she could bear losing her too.


	8. Circling the Wagons - Part B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today was a start, one block. In the following days more would be added and they would build, mesh and grow stronger, they had too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. Thank you for reading and the kudos and the comments. Am still working out the tagging, it's a mess but I'll improve in time.

Oxygen heaved in and out of her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to lock out the pain ripping through her heart. She’d gone outside slamming the door behind her to forestall Doc from following. She didn’t want company or patronizing words, she needed to clear her head and think, hard.

Wynonna had known all this time where her mother was, had spoken to her and hadn’t uttered a word to Waverly. The same Wynonna she had nursed carefully through these hellish days, the same Wynonna who had trusted her with getting Alice her newborn daughter to safety but couldn’t trust her with the whereabouts of their mother.

Waverly wanted to scream instead she choked back a sob, wrapping her arms tightly around her body, shrinking back into herself. Nicole also had kept secrets from her and the betrayal stung. Why? Why couldn’t they trust her to tell her when she loved them both so much, why? Was she so useless that they felt she needed shielding all the time? Did they think her so fragile that she would break under the slightest pressure.

She’d survived a psycho sister, an unloving father, abandonment, ridicule from so called friends because of her last name, she survived demonic possession and even the inane attentions of Champ Hardy, she had survived damnit! Waverly Earp had got it together and thrived in the business of life but here were the two people she loved the most making her feel like she was not good enough.

Anger boiled up through her chest. No, not today satan, not ever again would anyone make her feel or treat her less than she deserved. Today she would not excuse anyone’s behavior, not anymore. Kicking the door to the Homestead open, Waverly screeched belligerently,

“Wynonna fucking Earp! Get your sorry shit ticket ass down here this minute.”

Two pairs of feet clattered noisily down the stairs as both Wynonna and Xavier hastily came down to face the wrath of the youngest Earp.

“Waves, calm,” 

“Shut it Nicole, sit down and listen for a change, all of you!” Nicole’s eyes widened comically at the harsh tone of Waverly’s voice. Looking at the concentrated fury that was her girlfriend she sat down obediently.

Wynonna hung her head, face turned into Xaviers’ shoulder. He’d slung his arm around her as support knowing she couldn’t bear to look at Waverly right now, not the mood she was in.

 

“I am not a child. I am a member of this team and this family and I will not tolerate being kept on the fringes of things because you all want to keep me protected, like I’m some china doll or something. You should have told me about mama, Wynonna. She’s not just your mother, she’s mine too. You don’t get to decide if and when I’ll speak to her, I do that. Understood?”

Wynonna nodded dumbly.

“Nicole, you mean so much to me and I’ve given you my heart, my body, my everything, but still you cannot trust me enough to tell me your secret? It’s not like I’d have told anyone, I know how to respect boundaries, unlike some people in here. I could have helped you, why won’t you let me?”

Nicole could only look at Waverly despondently as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Waves, I didn’t want you to think any less of me because of my connection to the cult. It was selfish I know but you’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and I just didn’t want anything to destroy what we have. Forgive me for hanging onto the goodness in my life for a little while longer.”

Waverly was clearly taken aback at the answer but her chin jutted forward and her eyes narrowed dangerously, small hands balled into fists.

“So you’re the only one here with a shitty history? You think I'm going to leave you because of you history? Really? You forget that I’m related to someone who killed my abusive father and bitch of a sister, ran off into the great wide world leaving me behind and announced her return by almost sleeping with my boyfriend. To top it all off I may not be an Earp. No Nicole, you don’t have the monopoly on ugly, painful history look around you and see.”

It hurt to see Nicole cry but Waverly had to make sure she and everyone else understood that she was not some shrinking violet that couldn’t handle life. She’d been dealing with the fallout of her family tribulations since forever and it irked her when she was under-estimated.

Sighing, she looked at the shocked expressions facing her. Her anger and vitriol had been spewed at Wynonna and Nicole but she could see it had a bearing on everyone else in the room. She wasn’t sorry things needed to be said even if they hurt, that’s the only way that this rag tag family would grow stronger by telling each other the truth and not keeping secrets from each other.

“I’m sorry Waverly,” Wynonna sniffed nose and eyes were red from tears shed into Xavier’s shirt. What more could she say?

“Me too, so, so sorry Waves,” Nicole also sniffled, eyes focused on the pint sized girl who held her whole world in her hands.

“Dolls, Jeremy, I think we should give the ladies a moment to themselves,” Doc said jerking his head at the door.

“Yes, yes, that’s a good idea. I need to get back to the office anyway. I'll come back later with pizza and stuff,” Jeremy rambled as he scrambled for the door.

“See you later guys,” he waved as he almost ran to his car and high-tailed it back to the town.

Doc and Dolls watched him go in amusement. The last half hour had been intense to say the least. Jeremy in as much as he was astute and saw a lot more than people gave him credit for, just didn’t do well in emotional wet weather and today an emotional cyclone had bucketed down on the Homestead.

The two men watched each other warily. Their relationship had been rocky from the outset and had only just improved marginally. However, Wynonna was still silently contested by both of them but neither had been keen on addressing the issue.

“I love her,” Dolls said leaning against the wooden railing.

“I know,” Doc replied, cigarillo in hand.

“You’re her baby-daddy,”

His moustache twitched in annoyance at the phraseology.

“I’ve never much cared for that parlance, besides it doesn’t change that she adores you and I’m not one to stand in the way of her happiness,” Doc stated sadly.

“You’re needed here she can’t do this without you. No one can replace you okay. You will always have a place here not just because you fathered her child but because you are needed, truly.” 

Dolls spoke forcefully. Honestly, he was man enough to admit a grudging respect for the wily gunslinger and whilst he had no intention of stepping aside where Wynonna was concerned, he was not about to lose a member of his team if he could help it especially one who had proved his mettle. His team. They’d grown on him these crazy people, one in particular and he was amazed at how possessive he was over them. It would be a sad day indeed for the idiot who’d think to trifle with any one of them.

Stubbing out the cigarillo and adjusting his hat Doc contemplated the other man. It was his own fault he wasn’t with Wynonna. When she’d shown him her pregnancy, to his eternal shame he’d balked and walked away from her. Dolls from what he’d seen hadn’t fared any better initially but somehow had managed to be present for her and take it in stride. Now here they were, two grown men trying to hash out a compromise in a very awkward situation.

He’d deal with the deck handed to him. Alice was safely hidden and the reticent man studying him through hooded eyes was responsible for that in part. Dolls could have bailed when BBD disappeared instead he stayed to fight alongside them. It wasn’t what he wanted but yeah he’d deal.

“Think it’s safe to go back in?” he asked.

Dolls peered through the window watching the three women rocking as they clung to each other tightly, tears rolling down all their cheeks. 

He smiled at Doc, one of his rare, genuine smiles usually reserved for Wynonna.

“I guess so from the looks of things. We good?”

“Peachy.”

It felt lighter in the room, like the dark clouds had lifted. Waverly held Nicole’s hand softly and Wynonna gravitated back to Dolls who simply wrapped both his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. No one spoke, there was no need. 

They would have to work at trust and transparency all of them, if they were to survive the battles ahead. The enemy they faced was ruthless and relentless and would exploit any weakness to his advantage.

Today was a start, one block. In the following days more would be added and they would build, mesh and grow stronger, they had too.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own these characters. I just love them. So I choked and stammered my way through this. Letter writing is hard. I love Alanis Morrisette.


End file.
